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I love that Lorde says excellence "must not be misconstrued as demanding the impossible from ourselves nor from others". I am in a place of reframing that for myself. I lived so long pursuing the impossible - sometimes I even achieved it, but at great cost to my mental and physical health. How does it look to pursue excellence when you're not driving yourself into the ground? Thanks for sharing this.

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Yes! In a different essay, "A Burst of Light: Living with Cancer," she writes: "Overextending myself is not stretching myself. I had to accept how difficult it is to monitor the difference."

I love the invitation to consider how stretching and overextending are different.

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Oh, that is also good. I will hunt it down.

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I am curious, what was impossible? And why?

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It's hard to sum up in a Substack comment, but I went through a period of intense perfectionism after my graduate degree in an effort to become a "professional." I didn't realize I was autistic at the time and so many of the approaches I took to work were ultimately self destructive. The way I approached writing, podcasting, networking, marketing, and even socializing were impossible to do without harming myself. I was always pushing beyond my limits and assumed everyone else was too. I kept going until I hit an intense burnout and have had to seriously reframe what I expect from myself and why.

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Cosign.

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Sounds like you know the direction of the light in the tunnel.

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I really loved this (e.g., I subscribed in order to comment). Thank you for sharing your "less formal" writing! Looking forward to more.

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Thank you, Emily! And thanks for subscribing. After a few years of writing longer, more researched pieces, I am challenging myself to find space for shorter, off-the-cuff stuff. I appreciate your encouragement!

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Oof! The quote from Eula Bliss is stirring: "a rejection ... that the central project of our lives is to undo our own precarity. It's a refusal of a way of life devoted to insurance." I'll be chewing on this for some time. How brave especially without the holding of community. And yet, what it arises for me (especially in this age of hyper-individualism) is that to be oriented this way requires a surrendering to something larger.

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I love that reflection (as challenging as it might be!). I wonder if the "something larger" might just be (or could be) recognizing the impossibility of checking off enough boxes to reach the point of stable and secure.

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Tara, thank you so much for sharing such valuable information. I may interested in your podcast class in the future. Thank you again, LA@FlyingBRA

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